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Grief and Grieving
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  • Grief and Grieving

    Normal reactions to a traumatic event, such as the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City and the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., resulting in sudden death and mass destruction, can be immediate or delayed hours, days, weeks, months or longer by the survivors and the friends and families of the victims

    .

    There are many manifestations that occur after such catastrophes.  They include: 

    Physical Reactions

    •  Difficulty Breathing

    • Chest Pain

    • Elevated Blood Pressure and Pulse

    • Tremors

    • Nausea and Vomiting

    • Dizziness

    • Profuse Sweating

    • Fatigue

    • Sleep Disturbances

    • Teeth Grinding

    • Headaches

    • Sighing

    • Decreased Energy Levels

    Cognitive Disturbances

    • Blaming Self and Others

    • Memory Loss

    • Decreased Concentration and Problem-Solving Ability

    • Nightmares

    • Loss of Orientation to Time, Place and Person

    Emotional Manifestations

    • Crying

    • Guilt

    • Depression

    • Anxiety and Panic

    • Fears

    • Mood Swings

    • Irritability

    • Preoccupation with the Deceased

    • Avoidance/Withdrawal from Others

    • Inappropriate Responses

    Behavioral Reactions

    • Emotional Outbursts

    • Change in Appetite

    • Anger

    • Acting out

    • Pacing

    • Startle Easily

    • Increased or Decreased Libido

     

    Don’t tell a person who has experienced a loss that it “could have been worse” or  “you’re lucky it was not worse”.  This belittles their feelings and it is the worst for them.  Sometimes they are unable to speak about the occurrence or their feelings at all.   A loving embrace or holding a hand can express much more than words.

    Children need to be kept occupied by their routine.  They need to be reassured that they are safe. It is important to let them express their feelings.  They may need to draw or play to ventilate their emotions.  Stay together and discuss the events.  Don’t obsess or constantly dwell on the occurrence.

    Friends and Health Care providers can stress that the individual is safe, provide structure, limit exposure to the news and discussions, provide patience and offer support.

    Grieving persons experience different stages of grief.  They may pass from one stage to another and may spend varying amounts of time in each one.  They may completely skip a stage or repeat one.  Allow them to express their grief, shock, denial, anger, despair, bargaining, detachment, acceptance and resolution with open and accepting body language and encouraging words.  Sometimes, just being there, really present, even if there is silence, is supportive and comforting.

    Mourners have tasks to complete to reach towards healing.  They must accept the loss and understand the reality of that loss.  They must realize that their life has been changed.  They need to work through the pain.  Feelings and emotions must be released.  They need to adjust to their new environment and move on.  This means they need to love and live again.  They must do the work of developing new interests, establishing new relationships and rekindling older ones.

    Helping yourself through the grief process is difficult work that needs to be done.

    1. Talk.  Expressing emotions will relieve some tension.

    2.  Resume.  Involve yourself in new and old relationships and activities

    3.  Nutrition.  Stress depletes nutrients so eating a well-balanced diet with fresh fruits and vegetables; whole grains, fish, organic meats and poultry will increase energy.   Decreasing sugar, caffeine, tobacco and alcohol will benefit the body since these drain nutrients, increase depression, stimulate palpitations and interfere with sleep.

    4. Exercise.  Walk, Tai Chi, Yoga, Aerobics, Biking, Swimming, etc. will reduce stress.

    5. Rest.  Sleeping may be difficult.  Just rest.  Massage and Amma Therapy can be induce rest and sleep.

    6. Journaling.  Writing letters, poems, journal entries, recording feelings on tape and being creative can release emotional energy.

    7. Read.  Knowing that others have experienced similar situations and can share your feelings can diminish feelings of loneliness, being alone and isolation.

    8. Seek Help.  Professional Mental Health Workers can offer many supportive services.  Ask for help from Religious Leaders, Hospitals, Clinics, Self-Help and Support Groups, and The World Wide Web:

     

    Disaster Psychiatry

    http://www.psych.org/pract_of_psych/disaster_psych.cfm

    Managing Traumatic Stress http://helping.apa.org/daily/traumaticstress.html

    AAP Offers Advice on Communicating with Children about Disasters http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/disastercomm.htm

    DC Mental Health Extends Hours for Grief Counseling http://www.washingtondc.gov/mayor/news/release.asp?id=235

    Disaster Mental Health http://www.ncptsd.org/disaster.html

     

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